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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Op/Ed - Please Don't Let the Door Hit You in the Derrière: LGBTQ Marriage is the Law

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Op/Ed Written by "FlaGatorJD" of Democratic Underground - Republished with Permission

I know some of you are terribly upset about all this equality and marriage stuff, and you're so fed up, you're ready to just leave this country. 

First, let's remember that you said you'd leave if President Obama were elected. He was, and you didn't, and except for the problems in your head, and our inability to stop killing one another, America is doing fine, or at least a whole lot better than when he took office.

Although a few are currently suffering from Exploding Head Syndrome, or EHS, the economy has improved, more Americans are back to work, and millions of Americans have insurance for the first time, which means they go to sleep without the fear of getting sick and losing everything.

I know, that last part really bothers a lot of you, especially our GOP leaders, like the criminals in Tallahassee. So let's talk about Wall Street. I don't know about you, but I'm thinking Obama is the worst socialist ever! I sure hope Bernie Sanders will do better. 

Ok, but all this doesn't matter and you're ready to leave, because now that America is "gay friendly", the whole damn country will be adorned in rainbows, and the whole world will be coming here. Just FYI, if you're interested in any facts, the U.S. doesn't even make the top ten in least homophobic countries. It comes in at twelve, but that doesn't matter, and let's get you packed up and ready. 

Now if you're shopping for houses already, and the Riviera is enticing,you might like to know Spain is the least homophobic, with only 6% of Spaniards saying it is "morally unacceptable", compared to 37% in the U.S. Then fine, living in the French or Italian Riviera might be a little more expensive, but screw Spain, right? Sorry, France and Italy come in at third and eighth on the least homophobic list. Collectively, it's like a huge frigging rainbow sitting on top of the Mediterranean!  

Let's try another approach, let's just look at the most homophobic countries and pick one of those. That would be great, living with all those like-minded individual, wouldn't it?

Ok, let's check your options: While Ghana got the top spot, with 98% saying it was "morally unacceptable", the unofficial "most homophobic country" is the small Asian country of Brunei! 

While not polled like the others, the fact that the government recently voted to stone gays to death gave it special attention. You'll be pleased to know Bruneian citizens pay no taxes, and the government provides for all medical services and free education through university. 

I know, again, that last part doesn't sit well with a lot of you, giving people Free Stuff, but NO TAXES. Another part you might like is that they have a King, and the same family has been in power for around 500 years. 

However, it is 80% Muslim, but I'm sure the 8% minority Christians are treated fairly and with due respect. If Ghana or Brunei don't suit your fancy, your other options in the top 10 most homophobic nations include: Egypt, Jordan, Palestinian, Indonesia, Uganda, Tunisia, Kenya, Malaysia, and Nigeria.

So gentlemen, pack your Summer clothes and sunscreen. I'm sorry ladies, but you'll have to leave your bathing suits here with the heathens, but since all of these are Muslim countries, I believe, you will likely need a burka.


About The Author:
Craig "Red" Holland studied politics and law at the University of Florida, B.A. '83, J.D. '86. He calls himself a "recovering attorney" who left the stress world of law to travel the world, live a better life, and fight for a progressive America.

He has worked on presidential campaigns  
and served as executive director for a non-profit cycling advocacy group where he lives in Naples, FL. 

He is available to provide copy or articles on progressive causes. He can be reached at 

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